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The Beauty I See…

There was a time in my life when I was a very negative person. Part of this was my own personal issues causing me to be bitter towards the world and part of it was my knowledge of the negative things becoming so common in our daily lives. As time has passed though, I have let my anger go and hope this post can help others do the same. You see, there is and always will be those who get ahead for doing the wrong things while those that do the right things fall behind. I cannot change that and neither can you but there is something you can do and so can I. Endure…..realize that when your life ends, your actions and the memory of them will be the only evidence of your existence, at least in this portion of humanity. When you allow yourself to be wounded by the bad, no matter the pain it causes, and you continue to endure, you show off the beauty of the human spirit. Love, hope, generosity, caring, kindness, these are all examples of the things in life that etch you permanently into the memories of those you knew as a wonderful and amazing person.

I have realized that no amount of pain can hurt me. No amount of suffering can change my love of my family, my friends, and the innocent animals that live among us. The memories I have of my friends, my family and the experiences I have had with them will always fill me with a joy that no evil action can take away. The love I have shared with the few people I have had relationships with will always remain at least partly in me, teachings that lead me to my true love, my angel Renee. I needed the pain of those relationships failing in order to learn what I needed to know, to feel, in order to find my soul-mate and only by enduring through those ups and downs, those moments of attraction that turned from friendship to relationship before breaking down again by their conclusion, was I able to find the person I was meant to be with.

I am a parent, a friend, a brother, a son, an uncle, a cousin, a nephew, a grandson, a writer, a student, a teacher, a philosopher, a neighbor, an American and a human being and no matter what happens to me, being those things are the greatest thing I could ever experience. I am mentally ill, and mentally unique. I share thoughts and emotions with others, but cannot be understood by everyone. I am strong, I am weak. I am cold, I am warm. I am a man, a boy and I laugh and I cry. I am open to the world, yet closed off to everybody. My anger is a poison and my hate is a disease. They are my only weaknesses because I am different,yet the same as everyone. A beautiful, happy human being and I have gotten more from my relationship with the world than i could have ever asked for. I am grateful for every experience before and fortunate for everyone after.


2 responses

  1. hank janis

    I have always been the type to never understand hate. Anger yes. But not hate. How can one be so consumed by hate they can’t recognize the beauty of everyday. I for one, even never physically meeting you, am glad you have changed. I am also glad to be able to be friends with someone as open and knowledgeable as yourself.

    April 30, 2012 at 8:50 am

    • aw, thanks Hank, that means a lot to me and you know I am equally glad that despite all the morons we meet on Facebook I have been able to make a new friend such as you. I hope you are feeling well friend.

      April 30, 2012 at 12:04 pm

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